Showing posts with label father. Show all posts
Showing posts with label father. Show all posts

Saturday, August 23, 2025

Tribute to Dr. James Dobson on his Passing

 I was a confused and terrified parent.

 

Having raised me on a mix of Dr. Spock and “Pavlov’s dog” philosophies, my own mother’s form of discipline had been to ineffectively chase me around with a yardstick when I misbehaved, and father’s was to demand, “When I say jump, you say ‘how high!’” 

 

My first child was a toddler when I heard Dr. James Dobson’s “Focus on the Family” program on the radio.  I couldn’t get enough.  A beacon of hope!  A voice of reason and guidance.  I was a committed Christian and needed biblical parenting counsel.  It is not overstating to say that "Focus on the Family" and its resources were a fountain of life to me in all the years when I was raising four children.  The balance of love and discipline.  The effective, non-abusive application of corporal punishment. The principle of taming the will without wounding the spirit of the child.  And so many other lessons and encouragements guided me through the parenting years as I read books and listened to radio broadcasts.

 

Several years ago I wrote a letter to Dr. Dobson, telling him how much his ministry had changed my life and set a course for my family.  I will be forever grateful. (And my grown children would thank him too, if they had any idea what their lives would have been like without him!)

Saturday, March 8, 2014

The Office

Mel Adrian
Even when I was little, I appreciated how unusual my father was.  He was a “self-made man.”  He was a rags-to-riches story in the tradition of Horatio Alger.  If you are too young to have read Horatio Alger stories, then you are about to read one. 



One of the Adrian homes
Mel was the fifth child out of nine, born in the hills of Southern Ohio in a place called PeePee, Ohio.  His hardworking blue, collar parents moved to the big town of Springfield to better themselves in the 1920s, but found life there just as hard.  They settled on “Irish hill,” but the Depression, nine kids, Pappy's drinking, and just a “hard-knocks life” caused the clan to have to move “every time the rent came due.” 


Mel managed to graduate Springfield High School in 1935, and went into piece-work, teaching himself to be a jig board operator – a skilled position.  But later, with all his friends being drafted into World War II, he decided to join the Navy.  On his return, a friend convinced him to use the GI Bill to “make something of himself,” and so he went for it.  Something clicked.  He pushed himself through Wittenberg College, battled through a very competitive Jurisprudence program at the University of Cincinnati, and started his own law practice back in Springfield.

Mitchell Building - on the right
Now you have the background, here is where my story starts.  Going to my dad’s law office was a regular part of my childhood experience.  His first office was at the Mitchell Building at High and Lime*.   

The glass framed double doors opened into a narrow hallway, leading in a few steps to an old-fashioned elevator.  Pushing the button for “UP” was a constant argument between my sister and I, and was a delight when it was my turn!  Our father was often not dressed in a suit for work, but being 6’1” tall and carrying himself in a commanding way, everyone deferred to him anyway.  The elevator operator slowly slid the doors open with a crank device, then slowly slid them closed upon our entry.  The kindly attendant would greet “Mr. Adrian” and his daughters, and make small talk during the 2 minutes it took to ascend to the second floor.  Yes, the second floor!  I think Dad just rode the elevators when we were with him because we enjoyed them so much.

Being discharged from the elevator, we ran to Dad’s office door, which was always open because there was no central heat or air in the building.  We were greeted by Mrs. Closson, Dad’s longtime secretary and only employee, who looked like Mrs. Santa Clause, and—being from Alabama—talked like she had rocks in her mouth.  I will never forget the way she said “Mr. Adrian,” which came out as “mawsha aidchren.”

He sat us on the stiff, leather couch which looked like it was going to swallow us whole, and we sat stiffly there while he went into the inner office – his sanctum sanctorum – to take care of important phone calls, check on pending matters, and sign things.  It looked to the eyes of a child as if Mrs. Closson really ran the place, and he just dropped in now and then to make sure she was on task! 

The window to Limestone Street was open in Dad’s inner office, and the high-ceilinged fans were going around and around slowly.  Paper weights were not there for decoration in those days – things flew around because it was always breezy inside of offices.

Just when my sister and I had wriggled and giggled on the couch as long as we could stand it, Dad would emerge, give his secretary some last-minute instructions, and head out the door.  We would bound across the echoing wooden floors, no longer careful to be quiet, and race down the wide spiral staircase – much too excited with pent-up energy to wait for the elevator—but we waited for our Dad at the doors to the street. 

"Time for ice cream!"

*Native Springfielders shorten Limestone Street to “Lime.”

Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Strong, Godly Mother


My wonderful grandfather, Daniel F Wilson, was the most prolific poet in our family to date.  I don't have a total count of his works, (because there are duplicates and the poems are written in hard-to-read, old-timey cursive, in pencil)  But my estimate is 230 - 250 poems.

As his mother before him (Mary W Cox) and his daughter after him (Erma W Walker) he had a sentimental spot when it came to mothers.  This is his poem in tribute to the way his mother courageously cared for the family, with God's help, after her husband's premature death in 1894.


Mother

Our dear mother is now at rest
She is now in heaven with the blest
The Savior called and she could not stay
An angel guided her on her way

Many years have come and gone
Since Father left her side
But she bravely carried on
With Jesus for her guide.

She is happy now we know
But we dreaded to see her go
With long life she was greatly blest
And has earned a blessed rest.

Now with father reunited
She will be so happy and delighted
And the friend that went before
Will greet her on that golden shore.

She was so cheerful and so gay
We would have her always stay
Now on this Christmas morn
We are so sad and forlorn.

But we know that she will wait
To greet us at the pearly gate
There on the golden street
Her brothers and sisters she often will meet.

There in her mountain retreat
In her cottage clean and neat
With the vines around the door;
When our work is done
And the Sabbath begun
She will greet us smiling as of yore.


by Daniel F Wilson
written 1946-47



Mary, Daniel, Jonathan and Ella Wilson in 1883



Monday, April 25, 2011

A Boy Far From Home


from Grandma Stories: God’s Little Miracles by LDMahan

The young girl was NOT ready to move far away.  She had been raised in this Ohio city, and knew nothing else.  The world seemed a big, scary place.  But all that was about to change.

College was looming ahead, and the brown-haired senior was not prepared.  She had tried very hard to be responsible, but how could you know what was “out there” before you arrived “out there”?  Unfortunately, after applying to a beautiful, ivy-covered university nearby, there were no funds to attend it. 

Now her father wanted to take her on an exotic vacation even farther away—to MEXICO!  She had never been out of the state of Ohio, never flown in a plane.  The thought of a foreign land made her knees tremble, but since her dad had been there before, she could hang onto his coattails.

The big day arrived.  The plane took off amidst loud, unfamiliar noises, strange uncomfortable feelings in her ears and head, and giddy, electric anxieties mixed with thrill.  Have you ever flown through huge mountains of puffy-castle clouds?  Awesome!  Mexico City was far stranger and far more wonderful than she had imagined.  Huge skyscrapers, ancient museums, cool cave-like cathedrals, and exciting night life.  Maybe going far from home would not be so bad after all.

The return trip was supposed to be routine, but she was in for another surprise—they had to deplane in Dallas, Texas.  Being an inexperienced traveler, the girl had expected to fly straight through to Ohio, but when she found herself on the ground in Dallas, the city where her boyfriend Bob now lived, she was simply struck that she had to see him.  You may know how it is with teenage girls! 

She pleaded with her father.  He checked with the airline clerk—it would be an additional charge of $100.00 each to interrupt their flight.  Dad thought a bit … he looked at his daughter’s hopeful face … he thought some more … then they picked up their baggage and headed for a Dallas hotel!

When she arrived at Bob’s home, she was greeted by his mother and three sisters with hugs and squeals.  It had been a year since his family had moved away from Ohio. The girl stayed with the family, while her father stayed at the hotel. 

She and her boyfriend talked about college life, he showed her a huge book that he had to read in less than five days, then he took her around the campus.  She met with the Dean of Admissions, and counseled with the Director of Financial Aid, all in a whirlwind two days.  Her friend tried to convince her this was the best school on the planet.

After she had returned home to Ohio, however, she began to feel as shy and scared as ever.  Taking an adventurous trip with her dad was one thing; moving to a strange place on her own was too much.  It was too big to decide on her own.  She would ask God.

She got down on her knees on the purple shag carpet of her bedroom floor.

“Dear Jesus, I don’t know what to do.  I’m scared and I have three problems.  First, I need money to go to the school in Dallas.  Second, I need to come back here and to be in my sister’s wedding two weeks after school has already started.  Finally, I don’t know any girls in Texas, so I need a roommate.  I leave it in your hands.”

Within the week a college financial aid officer called.  “We’re offering you all the money you need for school: loans, scholarships and work-study,” she announced.

“Wow!” the girl responded.

When she told her dad, he was very pleased.  “And don’t worry about your sister’s wedding,” he added.  “I will fly you back for that.”

Next, a letter arrived from one of Bob’s university friends.  This girl wrote: “I am in need of a roommate next year – won’t you please come and live with me?!”

So, that is the story of how God led a young girl to the college of her dreams – through an answered prayer and a boy far from home.

Friday, April 22, 2011

The Saving Hand


from Grandma Stories: God’s Little Miracles by LDMahan

 (This story was told to me by my father, Melvin Adrian)
 
When I was a boy in Southern Ohio, my brothers and I often liked to go swimming.  In those days there was no air conditioning, so the only way to cool off in summer was in front of a fan or by getting wet.  It was much more fun to get wet!   


There were also no swimming pools in those days – at least none for regular people – but only for rich people who joined country clubs.  No, we went out to any river or creek nearby and whiled away the hot summer afternoons.  The most fun place was an old swimming hole – a place where the water ran deep so we could dive and swim.

One day Owen, Jimmy, Othel, Elwood, some friends and I were diving and playing in the cool water.  We would dive down,  swim under, and come up splashing and panting to cling to the rocks on the other side.  Suddenly someone shouted, “Where’s Jimmy?!”

Jimmy was my favorite brother, the one out of nine kids who was closest to me in age.  I scanned the surface and then dove under, peering through the murky, bubbly water again and again.  We all did.  I became tired, but I kept going down, searching, swimming, coming up.

“No, Jimmy, No!  You can’t be gone.”  I became exhausted, then panicked.  I came to the surface once more, gasping for air.  A second time I came up, trying now to save myself.  Finally, I knew I wasn’t going to make it.

I’ll never know why I did it.  I had given up and was sinking peacefully down, when I shot my hand straight upward.  An iron grip seized my wrist.  Someone pulled me out of the water.  I was saved.
 
I wish I could tell you Jimmy was saved also.  He was found later, his body stuck under an overhang of rock.  I never got over it.  But my parents had almost lost two sons that day.  And I know that it was really God’s Hand that reached out and saved me.  Because if He had not, you, my daughter, would never have been born!