The Positive Legacy of Deception – Part 6

What if you have been deceived and devastated by a sociopathic personality? (See Part 5 for the definition of sociopathic.)  Being an idealist, I am always scanning for the silver lining underneath those dark rain clouds! 

That is the purpose of this series of 6 blogs.  And there is at least one solid, positive result from having ever been deceived by such a person: you are not likely ever to be deceived again.  The contact with a sociopathic personality is so devastating, and the recovery so lengthy, that it is unlikely you will let another similar person into your inner circle.  That is good news.

Not only that, but you will likely spot this “type” and be able to warn others.

Here’s an analogy in the physical realm.  Recently in the news was Dr. Kent Brantly who suffered and was near death from the Ebola virus.  This excruciating experience, however, left him completely invincible in terms of Ebola.  In addition, it left him with an antibody in his blood which can now be used to heal others from what was previously an incurable disease.  Subsequently, his gift of blood transfusions has been responsible for the healing of at least two other people.

I’m not sure what Dr. Brantly would say if asked whether it was worth it.  My guess is that he would probably smile and say something like: “Two more people are alive because of this.”

As for myself, if asked whether it was worth being in contact with a deceptive, sociopathic personality in order to learn the life lessons that I have learned, my first response would be,

 “Praise God for his deliverance -- that I am alive and in my right mind!”  

 My second thought would be, “I would never wish that on my worst enemy!”  

 And my final thought is: “Let’s see how God uses my victory to deliver others.  Then I will tell you how much it was worth.”

Very thankfully yours,

Lorraine

Billy Graham: Thinking Positive Thoughts Will Never Banish Evil

[I'm interrupting my series of 6 articles on how to deal with evil people in order to bring you this insight from the Rev. Billy Graham.]

Q:

A friend of mine says there's no such thing as evil, and if we encounter something that we think is evil, all we have to do is to think positive thoughts and it will go away. Is she right?

A:

No, your friend is not right. Evil is real; it isn't simply a failure on our part to think positive thoughts. Evil is so real and so terrible that it took the death of Jesus Christ on the cross to overcome it.

Where does evil come from? The Bible admittedly doesn't answer all our questions about evil, but it does tell us that evil comes ultimately from Satan, who is absolutely evil and opposed to everything good, including God. And while Satan isn't equal to God, he's a powerful spiritual being who seeks by every means possible to block what God is doing. Jesus called him "a murderer from the beginning.... and the father of lies" (John 8:44).

One of Satan's biggest lies is to convince people that he doesn't even exist, and that evil isn't real. But if evil isn't real, why did Jesus Christ come into the world? Jesus didn't come to teach us how to think positive thoughts. He came to give His life as the final sacrifice for sin, and by His resurrection He conquered evil and Satan and hell. Someday, His victory will be complete, and Satan and evil will be banished forever. The Bible says, "The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work" (1 John 3:8).

Don't let your friend mislead you, but turn to Christ and put your life and your eternal destiny into His hands. Then pray for your friend, that she too may face her need for Christ's forgiveness and protection.

(c) Billy Graham Evangelistic Association   www.billygraham.org

The Positive Legacy of Deception – Part 5

They don’t have a sign on their foreheads.

If there are evil people in the world, and if I might run into them, how will I know them?  They aren’t ugly or have a wart on their noses -- as in the movies. In fact, the ones that look the best physically, or shine the most socially, may be the very ones we should avoid. But there are signs if we are looking for the right things.

Modern psychologists have been giving us profiles of those who have “personality disorders,” and these lists can help us to spot dangerous types who otherwise tend to fly “under the radar” of society. Here are some traits of what psychologists call sociopathic people:

[Note: These traits don’t necessarily flag evil intent, but a person having many of them is a person to be watched.]

10 Red Flags

1) They are charming, have high charisma and tend to attract a following just because people want to be around them. They have a "glow" about them that attracts people who typically seek guidance or direction.*

2) They are more spontaneous and intense than other people.

3) They are incapable of feeling shame, guilt or remorse. This allows them to betray people, threaten people or harm people without giving it a second thought

4) They invent outrageous lies about their experiences. They wildly exaggerate things to the point of absurdity, but when they describe it to you in a storytelling format, for some reason it sounds believable at the time.

5) They seek to dominate others and "win" at all costs. They hate to lose any argument or fight and will viciously defend their web of lies, even to the point of logical absurdity.

6) They tend to be highly intelligent, but they use their brainpower to deceive others rather than empower them.

7) They are incapable of love and are entirely self-serving. They may feign love or compassion in order to get what they want, but they don't actually FEEL love in the way that you or I do.

8) They speak poetically. They are master wordsmiths, able to deliver a running "stream of consciousness" monologue that is both intriguing and hypnotic. They are expert storytellers and even poets.

9) They never apologize. They are never wrong. They never feel guilt. Even if shown proof that they were wrong, they will refuse to apologize and instead go on the attack.

10) They are delusional and literally believe that what they say becomes truth merely because they say it!

Jesus taught us to pray: “Deliver us from evil.”  That is a really good prayer in our world today!  Here is another prayer I found that really spoke to me this morning:

“Free me from the trap that is set for me,

For you are my refuge.

Into your hands I commit my spirit;

Redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth.”

Psalm 31:4-5

Thankfully yours,

Lorraine

*Taken from: http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_they_cults_influence.html

A Positive Legacy of Deception – Part 4

How do you protect yourself from predatory personalities?  

Many of us would say, “I’m smarter than that!  No one could pull one over on me!” But many very smart people have been fooled by other very smart people without conscience.  Is it possible that our cockiness can get us into trouble?!

And so … in addition to recognizing the "red flags" in others,  idealists must recognize the “red flags” within themselves.  By that I mean, become aware that certain ways of thinking make us vulnerable to a predatory personality.

• Do you feel, “I must have ______ no matter what, which only this person can provide.”
  
• Do you think, “I really don’t like _____ about them, but I’m sure they’ll change once our relationship gets settled.”
  
• Do you find yourself thinking, “This person/situation really has potential.  I’m sure with my input that everything will improve.”

The previous ways of thinking make us vulnerable to someone who might use or abuse us.  For instance, there is no guarantee that any person or situation will change – with or without our input.  To think in these ways is not idealism, it is fantasy.  Fantasy thinking is not based in reality and can be exploited.

I was guilty of many of these.  Bitter experience is a rough teacher.  However, I would rather be free from self-destructive thinking than to continue in it for the rest of my life.  God is merciful in his discipline of us, and allows hard lessons only for our good.  Knowing this has helped me to heal and to turn bitter into better.

Thankfully yours,

Lorraine

A Positive Legacy of Deception – Part 3

Several months ago I started a blog series about spotting the deceivers and liars among us.  The ideas came from my own experience of trying to learn this discernment.  I dropped the series after the second post while I did some more important processing.

Now, back for a second season -- four more posts on how to spot a deceiver!


A Positive Legacy of Deception -- Part 3

Here are some pointers on how to set boundaries and protect yourself from someone who could be surreptitiously, rather than openly, trying to take advantage of you.

When you are being deceived you don’t know you are being deceived!  But you can learn to spot a deceiver before they have a chance to pull you into their web.

Some behaviors that can alert you are:                                            

• If they seem too good to be true, they are.
• If they are charismatic and polished and get into your good graces immediately, be cautious.
• If they trade on their charisma and press for some type of involvement without a proven track record, slow down.
• If they suggest activities or commitment from you that seems premature, but when you hesitate they appear not to care, be suspicious.
• Don’t think that observing good behavior for a few weeks or months can really tell you their character. 
• If you haven’t known them for years, get “character references” from those who have known them longer before committing to a deeper relationship.

Flying off to Las Vegas for a quickie wedding is out!

Thankfully yours,

Lorraine

SPIRITUAL EATS

Do you know where your food comes from? 

Is it Organic?

Is it Pesticide-free?

Is it Non-GMO

Is it Whole Grain?

Is it Free-Range?

Is it Farm-Raised?

Is it Spring-Fed?

We read the labels on what we buy, but sometimes pay no attention to what our eyes, ears and heart ingest.

So if we’re feeling Anemic, maybe we should check the source and the contents of our “spiritual eats.”

The prophet Isaiah asks:

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.*

David answers, from the Desert of Judah:

God, you are my God …

I thirst for you,
    my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
    where there is no water.**

Like a starving man, he seeks after the One True God, the God of power and glory, whose love is better than life.

And the result:

He is full.  He is completely satisfied.  As if he has eaten the richest, most nutritious food the world has to offer.

Good spiritual eats.

*Isaiah 55:2

**Psalm 63:1-5

Evil Doesn't Exist ... I hope!

People today are confused about evil and good.  In fact, I think we reject using such terms.  When Ronald Reagan called the Soviet Union “an evil empire” I could feel a shock wave going through the country.

How dare he call someone or something evil! 

Is there such a thing as evil?!

Do we have a right to judge something as evil?!

But the horrible deeds of ISIS that have been making the news in recent months seem to confront us with a choice:

Call evil by its proper name and defeat it!  OR

Risk being defeated by it.

In the meantime, while we waffle over the idea that “all people must have good in them somewhere” and “all religions are basically the same,” terror is breaking out in countries all over the world, including our own.

Here is a simple definition that I think (hope) anyone could agree with:

Anything is evil which

kills you, steals from you, or destroys you.

Anything is good which 

gives you life and increases your well-being.

This definition is obviously not original.  It was Jesus who gave it.  And he defined evil and good in terms of himself.

^“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  

John 10:10

It’s time to choose.

Which one do you want?