Many of us would say, “I’m smarter than that! No one could pull one over on me!” But many very smart people have been fooled by other very smart people without conscience. Is it possible that our cockiness can get us into trouble?!
And so … in addition to recognizing the "red flags" in others, idealists
must recognize the “red flags” within themselves. By that I mean, become aware that certain
ways of thinking make us vulnerable to a predatory personality.
- Do you feel, “I must have ______ no matter what, which
only this person can provide.”
- Do you think, “I really don’t
like _____ about them, but I’m sure they’ll change once our relationship gets
settled.”
- Do you find yourself thinking, “This person/situation really has potential. I’m sure with my input that everything will improve.”
The previous ways of thinking
make us vulnerable to someone who might use or abuse us. For instance, there is no guarantee that any person
or situation will change – with or
without our input. To think in these
ways is not idealism, it is fantasy.
Fantasy thinking is not based in reality and can be exploited.
I was guilty of many of
these. Bitter experience is a rough
teacher. However, I would rather be free
from self-destructive thinking than to continue in it for the rest of my
life. God is merciful in his discipline
of us, and allows hard lessons only for our good. Knowing this has helped me to heal and to
turn bitter into better.
Thankfully yours,
Lorraine
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