Beepers, bells, buzzers … and bad news.

Every time I turn around anymore a buzzer is going off. I was reclining in my leather rocker under my soft “wish I was back in bed” blanket – smelling the coffee perking – when 5 electronic “beeps” announced its completion. Broke the mood entirely.

I get into my new car and, if I’m not quick enough with the seat belt, am warned with annoying buzzes that I better click it or pay the consequence with sound pollution.

I am glad to have a burglar alarm system in my home, but every time I let out the cat I end up running for the alarm panel, enduring screeches of increasing decibels while trying to punch in the code!

Have you ever known a buzzer that brought good news? Have you ever heard a beeper that made you happy? I think not. They are designed to be aggravating – to interrupt the flow of conversation or activity – to get our attention in a demanding way – to warn us of negative consequences.

There have been many attempts to soften the “blow” [pun intended]. Alex Trebec plays that now-familiar little ditty to warn his contestants when time is up. You can purchase tunes that will play on your cell phone in lieu of ringing. But try as we might to mask them, all those buzzes beeps bells and bongs are about as welcome as that giant gong on “The Gong Show” – bad news.

[Someone is going to contradict and tell me, “I love when my cell phone rings!” First, you’re probably under 25, and second, your phone is not an interruption because it’s your life!]

Now, I know we need some of them – and once-in-a-while they even bring good news – but why am I beginning to feel like Pavlov’s dog?! If I can’t remember to pour my coffee, put on my seat belt and take my clothes out of the dryer for my own benefit, then I do have about the intelligence of the animal kingdom. Wait a sec – while I scratch behind my ear …

I’m just sayin’!

Of course, we all know the proliferation of buzzers has sometimes gone beyond the inconvenient to invade the inappropriate. Ever been in silent prayer at church when someone’s pager went off? How about in the midst of a tense negotiation with your boss?

My favorite line of all time on this topic is in The Devil Wears Prada – Andi and her boyfriend are deciding the fate of their relationship when Andi’s boss rings her cell phone – and she takes the call! Decision made. His classic response is: “The person you’re in relationship with is the person whose calls you always take.”

Who are you in relationship with? Think about it.

Meanwhile – would someone please turn off the dryer . . . I’m going to go pour my coffee.