Things are calling to me … hehe!

Are you lost --- in Wal-Mart?

There’s a book about a girl who lived in Wal-Mart. In fact she had a baby in Wal-Mart! They made it into a movie. I wonder what other creepy things happen in Wal-Mart, under the full, blazing light of florescent day.

Nothing could happen in there, you say? No one could get lost, because it’s too bright?

Well, I still say I get lost in Wal-Mart.

Here’s my story. Last week I went in with the intention of just picking up my prescription. But once I stepped through that self-sliding double door and passed the smiling senior-citizen offering free shopping carts, I was ushered into a world filled with sights, sounds, and smells that sent my sense-detection system reeling.

I am not lost because I have too little sensory information to find my way – but because I have too much.

Ah-hah! Bet you didn’t think of that – that I could be as blinded by too much light, as by too little.

So back to my story. I’ve walked 4 steps when I’m aware I just passed the eyeglasses alcove on my left, and I am doing an almost-subconscious mental check to remember if there is anything I need there. At 6 steps, I see the beautiful bouquets of attractively-displayed flowers dead ahead, which makes me want to buy some – for a friend, of course. Whose birthday is this week?

By the time I’ve almost safely reached the turn to the right which will take me to my destination at the Prescription Counter, I’ve already evaluated and resisted my need for eyeglass supplies and flowers, as well as a host of conveniently-placed, easily-grasped low-cost household items. I don’t know it yet, but only 9 seconds in and I am dangerously near my peak of resistance—and I still have 3 aisles, 3 with end-caps, and 2 mid-aisle displays to negotiate!

By this time my sanity must be deranged – things are calling to me! Reading glasses: “Pick me up, you broke yours this week!” Power drinks: “Buy me, you know I’m healthier than those sodas you drink on the run!” From somewhere within comes the strength to keep on walking, but I then make a tactical error.

The Health Supplements Aisle has redirected my cart, almost without my conscious consent (is that possible?) past the vitamins where I grab some B-100’s for energy to overcome a recent feeling of malaise. Encouraged by my bold gesture of: one--taking a detour (now what am I in here for?!) and two--dropping something into the cart—the next purchases leap in quickly.

Airborne vitamin supplement (it was created by a teacher, for heaven sake – must be good). Gummie C (at least I’ll enjoy eating these—just like candy).

I have at last arrived at the red-line-on-the-floor behind which I must wait while other customers pick up their prescriptions. I look around. I’m strangely tired from my shopping trip (which has now lasted about 45 seconds) and I’m bored. I look to my left: Bunion pads are talking to me (I’m not that OLD!). I look to my right: Laxatives are trying to talk to me (and I’m trying not to listen!)

HELP!! I’m lost in Wal-Mart. Will somebody show me the door!!

uh-oh,
I forgot my point in posting this.
I did have a point.
I'll get back to you,
as soon as I find the door...